Crowley drifted into sleep on the sofa, the soft wool of the blanket a strange comfort against his skin. He didn’t dream, not really, but his sleep was filled with the lingering echo of that single, searing moment of contact: the warmth of Aziraphale’s skin, the slight tremor that had run through the angel’s hand before he’d pulled away. It was a sensation that settled deep in his corporation, a low hum of warmth that had nothing to do with the blanket.

He awoke slowly, pulled from the depths not by a sound, but by a smell.

It was rich, savory, and entirely out of place. It was the scent of bacon, fried to a perfect crispness, its smoky, salty perfume cutting through the bookshop’s usual aroma of aging paper and dust. For a disoriented moment, Crowley thought he must have miracled it himself in his sleep, a subconscious indulgence. But he hadn’t. He could feel his own power, coiled and resting inside him. This wasn't his work.

He sat up, the green blanket pooling around his waist. The morning light was filtering through the grimy windows, illuminating dust motes dancing in the air. The smell was stronger now, pulling him from the sofa. He followed it, his bare feet silent on the old wooden floorboards, his senses on high alert.

The scent led him to the small back room that served as Aziraphale’s kitchen and dining area. And there, on the small, circular table, was a plate.

It wasn’t just a plate. It was a full English breakfast. His full English breakfast. Two eggs, sunny-side up, their yolks a perfect, glistening orange, ready to burst. Three rashers of back bacon, crisped to the point of shattering but not burnt. A link of Cumberland sausage, plump and browned. A slice of black pudding. Sautéed mushrooms glistening with butter. A heap of baked beans contained by a neat ring of fried bread. It was exactly, precisely, how he would have ordered it, had he been in the habit of ordering such things. It was a meal born of pure, hedonistic desire.

Aziraphale was standing by the counter, holding a steaming teapot with both hands as if he wasn't sure what to do with it. He was already dressed in his usual tartan and tweed, but his hair was slightly disheveled, and his blue eyes were wide with utter bewilderment as he stared at the plate.

“Trying to butter me up, Angel?” Crowley’s voice was low, cutting through the quiet room.

Aziraphale started, turning to face him. The confusion on his face was so genuine it was almost painful to look at. “Crowley! I… I have no idea where this came from.”

“Right,” Crowley drawled, sauntering closer. He leaned over the plate, inhaling theatrically. “Smells like you. All temptation and clogged arteries.” He looked up at Aziraphale, pinning him with his gaze. “It’s a bit much, even for a morning-after gift.”

A faint pink stained Aziraphale’s cheeks at the implication. “It wasn’t me!” he insisted, his voice rising in pitch. “I promise you, my dear boy, I would never. Fried bread? It’s… it’s terribly uncivilized. I came down to put the kettle on and it was simply… here. Waiting.” He gestured vaguely at the plate with the teapot, sloshing hot water dangerously close to his hand. “I thought you must have done it.”

Crowley straightened up, his amusement fading into a familiar sliver of unease. He looked at Aziraphale, really looked at him. The angel was a dreadful liar; his tells were as obvious as a burning bush. And right now, he was radiating nothing but pure, unadulterated bafflement. He truly had no idea.

Which meant that someone, or something, had miracled a perfect breakfast for a demon into the back room of an angel’s bookshop. And it wasn’t either of them.

“Well, I didn’t do it,” Crowley said, his tone flat. He crossed his arms over his chest, the blanket still hanging from his hips. A strange, unidentifiable energy lingered in the air, a faint crackle just at the edge of his senses. It felt like a miracle, but a sloppy one. It was powerful, but naive, like a child who’d just learned a new word and was shouting it everywhere.

“But then… who did?” Aziraphale asked, setting the teapot down with a clatter. He looked from the plate to Crowley, his brow furrowed. “It’s made exactly to your tastes, isn’t it?”

Crowley didn’t answer. He just stared at the glistening eggs, the perfectly crisped bacon. It was more than just to his tastes; it was an intimate knowledge of his preferences made manifest. It felt deeply personal, and that was the most unsettling part of all. Someone was paying attention.

The breakfast sat on the table, cold and untouched. It was a monument to their shared unease, a greasy offering from an unknown benefactor. Neither of them could bring themselves to eat it. The intimacy of the gesture was more unnerving than any threat from Heaven or Hell.

“Let’s go for a drive,” Crowley announced, the words slicing through the heavy silence. He needed motion, the familiar rumble of the Bentley’s engine, the feeling of control that came with bending London’s traffic to his will. He snatched his sunglasses from the mantelpiece and strode towards the door, not waiting to see if Aziraphale would follow. He knew he would.

The cool leather of the driver’s seat was a familiar comfort. He ran a hand over the steering wheel, the Bentley humming in response, a low thrum of power that was an extension of his own being. A moment later, the passenger door opened and Aziraphale settled in, his presence filling the small space with the scent of old books and a faint, anxious energy.

“Where are we going?” the angel asked, his voice prim, but Crowley could hear the worry underneath.

“Nowhere. Everywhere,” Crowley muttered, turning the key. The engine roared to life, a deep, satisfying growl that momentarily soothed the frayed edges of his nerves. He pulled away from the curb with a smooth squeal of tires, heading into the midday traffic of Soho.

They approached the first intersection. The light was red. Just as Crowley was about to give it a little nudge of suggestion, a flicker of his will to turn it green, it switched on its own. A perfect, seamless transition that cleared the way for them. Crowley’s lips twitched in a half-smirk. Fine. The city was cooperating for once.

He sped through the intersection, the Bentley eating up the asphalt. Another set of lights loomed ahead, also red. And again, just as they neared the white line, it clicked to green. Then the next one. And the one after that. A perfect, unbroken chain of green lights, guiding them through the snarl of London traffic like a VIP escort.

It was his move. It was his signature trick, a flourish of demonic influence he’d been using for the better part of a century to make his journeys more pleasant. Except he wasn’t doing it.

Crowley’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. He deliberately pulled his will back, reining in his power until it was a tight, dormant coil inside him. He focused entirely on the physical act of driving, on the pressure of his foot on the accelerator, on the feel of the wheel in his hands.

The next light turned green.

A frown creased his brow, visible even behind the dark lenses of his glasses. This wasn't the city's random cooperation. This was deliberate. Someone was clearing a path for them. He could feel it now, the same chaotic, amateurish energy from the bookshop. It was clinging to the Bentley, wrapping around them like a staticky blanket. His own miracles were sleek, efficient, almost undetectable. This felt… clumsy. It had the subtlety of a toddler using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. It was powerful, yes, but sloppy and untamed. It felt like a parody of his own work, and the violation of it made a low growl rise in his throat.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale’s voice was soft, hesitant. “This is very… efficient. Are you in a particular hurry?”

“It’s not me, Angel,” Crowley said, his voice tight. He pushed the Bentley faster, racing towards the next intersection as if to challenge whatever was doing this. The light turned green with a palpable sense of eagerness, practically vibrating with the effort.

He could feel Aziraphale’s gaze on him, studying his profile. The angel knew him too well. He knew the relaxed, boneless slouch Crowley adopted when he was in control, the easy confidence with which he drove. This was not that. This was tense, rigid, every line of his body screaming with coiled aggression.

“Then who?” Aziraphale asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Crowley didn't answer. He didn't have an answer. He just gripped the wheel tighter, the smooth Bakelite groaning under the pressure. An unknown power was playing with his city, with his car, with them. And it felt like it was just getting started.

He wrenched the wheel hard, pulling the Bentley into a sudden, screeching halt in a parking space by the side of the road. The engine idled with a low, unhappy rumble, as if sensing its master’s agitation. For a long moment, neither of them moved. The only sound was the ticking of the cooling engine and the distant hum of London.

“Out,” Crowley said, his voice flat and final. He killed the engine and threw his door open, unfolding his long frame onto the pavement. He didn’t look back, just stalked towards the familiar wrought iron gates of St. James’s Park.

Aziraphale sighed, a small, worried sound, but obediently got out of the car. He hurried to catch up, his shorter legs taking two steps for every one of Crowley’s long, impatient strides. They walked in silence, a tense bubble enclosing them as they navigated the path towards the pond. Crowley’s shoulders were rigid, a line of pure frustration. He walked with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his tight black trousers, his whole posture a study in barely contained anger.

When they reached their usual bench, the one overlooking the water where the ducks congregated, Crowley remained standing, staring out at the murky green water as if it held the answers. Aziraphale sat, smoothing the fabric of his trousers with a prim gesture. He glanced up at the demon’s stiff back.

“We can’t just ignore this, my dear,” Aziraphale said softly. He reached into his coat pocket and produced a small paper bag, already filled with torn pieces of day-old bread. The miracle was tiny, precise, and utterly his own—a quiet rebuke to the chaotic energy that had followed them all morning. He tossed a piece into the water, and a flurry of ducks immediately descended upon it with greedy quacks.

“I’m not ignoring it,” Crowley bit out, turning on his heel to face the angel. “I’m trying to figure out what the Heaven—or Hell—is going on.”

“Perhaps,” Aziraphale began, offering his theory carefully, as if it were a fragile piece of porcelain. “Perhaps it’s simply… residual energy. From the, ah, failed apocalypse. Reality was stretched to its very breaking point. It’s bound to be a bit… wobbly for a while as it settles back into place.” He tossed another piece of bread, his movements calm and measured. “Like ripples in a pond.”

Crowley let out a short, sharp laugh that held no humour. “Ripples? Angel, that wasn’t a ripple. That was a targeted breakfast delivery. And this morning, in the car? That wasn’t reality being ‘wobbly.’ That was someone clearing my path. My path. Using my methods. It’s like someone read a summary of my work and is trying to plagiarize it.”

He finally sat down, but on the far end of the bench, creating a deliberate distance between them. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and glared at a particularly aggressive goose. “This doesn’t feel like old energy, Aziraphale. It feels new. It’s active. And it’s… clumsy.” He searched for the right word, his long fingers drumming a restless rhythm on his thigh. “It’s sloppy. Amateurish. There’s no finesse.”

Aziraphale considered this, his blue eyes fixed on Crowley’s tense profile. He saw the genuine anger there, the offense of a master craftsman seeing his work imitated by an unskilled apprentice. The breakfast, the traffic lights… they were intrusions, violations of the life Crowley had so carefully built for himself in London.

“A new player, you think?” Aziraphale asked, his voice laced with a new layer of concern. That was a far more troubling thought than a few lingering cosmic aftershocks. “From… from Upstairs? Or Downstairs?”

“Neither,” Crowley stated with certainty. “Heaven’s miracles are all pomp and righteousness. Hell’s are subtle, designed to nudge people towards their own worst instincts. This… this is something else. It’s too on-the-nose. Too… nice.” He said the word ‘nice’ as if it were a piece of rotting fruit. “A perfect breakfast? All the lights turning green? It’s what a human would think a miracle is. It’s a caricature.”

He fell silent, his gaze lost in the frantic scrabbling of the waterfowl. The unease that had started in the bookshop kitchen was now a cold, hard knot in his stomach. This wasn't a cosmic anomaly. It was personal. Someone, or something, was focusing on them, and he had no idea why. Aziraphale watched him, the bag of bread resting forgotten in his lap. The easy peace of their unspoken arrangement had been shattered, replaced by a question mark that hung over them, heavy and ominous as a storm cloud.

As Crowley’s words hung in the air, sharp and unsettling, Aziraphale’s hand stilled over the bag of bread. A new player. The thought was infinitely more disturbing than cosmic leftovers. A third party meddling in their lives felt like a profound violation, an intrusion into the fragile peace they had so carefully, if wordlessly, constructed. He looked from Crowley’s rigid profile to the oblivious ducks, and a deep, unfamiliar chill settled in his bones.

They sat in a tense silence, the space between them on the bench feeling like a mile-wide chasm. The cheerful sounds of the park—children laughing, the distant melody of an ice cream van—seemed to belong to a different world. Aziraphale was just about to suggest they return to the bookshop, to the comforting solidity of its walls, when a young man in a worn tracksuit ambled past their bench. He had a nervous energy about him, his eyes darting from side to side, never settling on anything for more than a second.

He paused a few feet away, pretending to tie a shoelace that was already tied. Crowley didn't even twitch, his attention still fixed on the water, but Aziraphale felt a faint prickle of awareness. There was something slightly off about the young man’s feigned casualness.

The man straightened up and began to walk past them again, this time much closer. As he drew level with Aziraphale, he stumbled, his arm flailing out as if to catch his balance. For a fraction of a second, his hand brushed against the pocket of Aziraphale’s coat, a touch so light the angel barely registered it as physical contact.

But Crowley registered it.

He moved with a speed that was not human. One moment he was slouched on the bench, a picture of indolent frustration; the next he was coiled, every muscle in his long body tensed and ready to strike. A low sound, less a growl and more the hiss of a serpent, vibrated in his chest. His hand lifted, fingers slightly curled, ready to inflict a very specific, very unpleasant series of torments on the person who had dared to lay a hand on his angel. The air around them grew cold, the scent of ozone sharp and sudden.

Before Crowley’s will could even take shape, it happened.

The pickpocket, whose fingers were just closing around the edge of Aziraphale’s wallet, suddenly pitched forward as if he’d been shoved by an invisible hand. He didn’t just trip. His feet became hopelessly entangled with each other, his forward momentum carrying him into a graceless, flailing pirouette. At the apex of this ridiculous spin, there was a faint pop sound, like a cork leaving a bottle. The man’s belt buckle spontaneously unfastened, and his cheap, baggy trousers gave up their fight with gravity, dropping instantly to pool around his ankles.

He landed on the pavement with a surprised yelp, sprawled in a heap of tangled limbs and exposed, garishly patterned boxer shorts.

A ripple of laughter spread through the nearby park-goers. The thief’s face went from shock to crimson humiliation. He scrambled madly, trying to pull up his trousers while also getting to his feet, a feat of coordination that was entirely beyond him. He ended up crab-walking backward a few feet before finally managing to hike the offending garment up and flee, his panicked retreat followed by a smattering of amused applause.

The cold, dangerous energy around Crowley vanished, replaced by a profound, static-filled silence. He slowly, very slowly, lowered his hand and sank back onto the bench. He stared at the spot where the thief had fallen, his mouth slightly agape behind his sunglasses.

Aziraphale finally processed what had occurred. He patted his coat pocket, feeling the solid rectangle of his wallet, safe and sound. He looked at the fleeing figure of the humiliated young man, then at Crowley’s stunned expression.

“Well,” Aziraphale said, his voice a little shaky. “That was… undignified.”

“Undignified?” Crowley finally found his voice. It was dangerously quiet. “He was trying to rob you.”

“Yes, I gathered that, my dear. But did you see…?”

“I saw,” Crowley interrupted, pushing himself to his feet. He began to pace in front of the bench, a caged tiger of pure fury and bewilderment. “I was handling it. I was about to handle it. And then that happened.” He gestured wildly towards the path. “His trousers just… fell down. That’s not a temptation. It’s not a punishment. It’s a cheap gag from a music hall.”

He stopped pacing and spun to face Aziraphale, jabbing a finger in the angel’s direction. “That proves it. That’s not Hell’s work. We’re much more creative with our torments. And it’s certainly not Heaven’s. Can you imagine Gabriel signing off on a miracle that involves faulty trousers? It’s too ridiculous. It’s too… comical.”

Aziraphale nodded slowly, his mind connecting the dots. The perfectly tailored breakfast. The impossibly convenient traffic lights. And now, a slapstick intervention against petty crime. They were all of a piece. They were all favours, of a sort, performed with immense power but a complete lack of sophistication.

“It’s the same thing,” Aziraphale murmured, a sense of dread solidifying inside him. “It’s watching us.”

Crowley’s jaw tightened. “It’s interfering. We’re leaving. Now.” He turned and stalked away from the pond without a backward glance, the message clear. The time for discussion in a public park was over.

Aziraphale hurried after him, the forgotten bag of bread still clutched in his hand. The drive back to the bookshop was executed in a thick, vibrating silence. Crowley drove with a contained fury, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. The traffic lights behaved with maddening normalcy, forcing them to stop and start in the sluggish London flow, a fact that only seemed to deepen the scowl etched onto the demon’s face.

The moment they were inside the shop, Aziraphale turned the key in the lock and flipped the sign to ‘CLOSED’. The sound of the bolt sliding home was a small, definitive comfort against the unnerving strangeness of the day. He turned, expecting to see Crowley collapsed dramatically on the sofa, nursing his metaphysical grievances.

Instead, the demon was in motion.

He stalked past the main desk, his long coat swirling behind him, and headed for a dim corner of the shop piled high with rolled charts and forgotten architectural plans. Dust motes danced in the slivers of light as he rummaged with an impatient, focused energy. After a moment, he pulled out a large, heavy roll of linen-backed paper and carried it to the main reading table near the unlit fireplace.

He unfurled it with a sharp snap of his wrists. It was a sprawling, beautifully detailed map of London from the mid-twentieth century, its colours muted by age. The paper was thick and smelled of dust and time. Crowley smoothed it flat with the palms of his hands, his movements sharp and precise, heedless of the few stacks of precariously balanced poetry collections he disturbed in the process.

Aziraphale watched him, saying nothing. He saw the shift in Crowley’s entire being. The languid, sarcastic lounger was gone, replaced by the ancient, formidable creature who had stared down the armies of Heaven and Hell. This was Crowley with a purpose, a problem to be dismantled.

Without looking up, Crowley held out a hand. “Pen.”

Aziraphale moved to his desk and retrieved his favourite fountain pen, a handsome black Waterman he used for cataloguing. He placed it into Crowley’s waiting palm. The demon’s fingers closed around it, and he immediately leaned over the map, his body forming a protective arch above the paper.

He made the first mark with a vicious jab, a small, black ‘X’ directly over Soho. “Breakfast,” he muttered, the word a curse.

His finger then traced the route they had taken in the Bentley that morning, a winding line through the city’s arteries. “Traffic,” he said, his voice low and tight. He didn’t mark the whole route, but simply drew a grim line from Soho westward.

Finally, his finger landed on the green expanse of St. James’s Park. He pressed the nib of the pen to the spot, leaving a dark, bleeding circle of ink. “Trousers.”

He straightened up then, placing his hands on his hips and staring down at the three isolated marks. They were just disparate points on a vast grid, meaningless without context, yet they represented a pattern of intrusion that had set every one of Crowley’s nerves on edge.

Aziraphale stood near the fireplace, observing the scene. He watched the way the light from the window caught the sharp line of Crowley’s jaw, the intense focus in the set of his shoulders. This was a familiar sight, this concentration, this coiled readiness. He’d seen it in Mesopotamia when they’d needed to avert a flood, in Rome when an emperor’s paranoia grew too dangerous, in Paris during the revolution. It was Crowley’s problem-solving mode, a state of being that was ruthlessly efficient.

But this time, it was different. This wasn’t some abstract threat to humanity or a distant political entanglement. This was happening here, in their sanctuary. The intrusions had been in their home, in their car, on their walk. Crowley wasn’t just averting a crisis; he was defending their territory. He was defending them.

A soft, irrepressible smile touched Aziraphale’s lips. All the anxiety and fear from the park began to recede, replaced by a deep, quiet warmth that settled in his chest. For six thousand years, they had orbited each other, partners in a dance whose steps they never acknowledged. Now, here in the dusty quiet of the bookshop, the partnership felt tangible, solid. It was as old as a promise made in the rain on the wall of a garden, and as new as the unspoken agreement that Crowley’s sunglasses now had a permanent home on the mantelpiece.

He stepped forward, his soft-soled shoes making no sound on the old floorboards, and came to stand beside the demon. He looked down at the map, at the three dark marks that represented their shared problem. He didn’t offer a theory or a platitude. He simply stood with him, a silent ally, his shoulder almost, but not quite, touching Crowley’s arm. They were on their own side, and for the first time, it felt like that was truly all that mattered.