The Stranger I Love

The first thing to pierce the thick, dreamless fog was the smell. Antiseptic, sharp and sterile, it scrubbed the inside of my nostrils and made my eyes water before I’d even opened them. The second was the sound—a soft, rhythmic beeping that seemed to be keeping time with the dull, throbbing ache at the base of my skull.

I peeled my eyelids apart. They felt heavy, glued shut with sleep and something else. The world swam into focus in blurry increments. White ceiling. White walls. A tube snaked from a bag of clear liquid down to my left hand, where a piece of tape held a needle in place against my skin. A hospital. The ache in my head intensified, a painful confirmation.

My memory was a gaping void. I knew my name—Avery. I knew I was twenty-five, that I’d graduated from college with a business degree, that my parents lived in a quiet suburban town three states away. But after that… nothing. A sheer cliff face where the landscape of my life should have been. The last thing I could clearly recall was celebrating my twenty-fifth birthday. How long ago was that? A week? A month?

Panic, cold and sharp, began to prickle at the edges of my consciousness. I tried to sit up, but a wave of dizziness slammed me back against the thin, starchy pillow. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a ragged breath.

Just then, the door to the room clicked open. I cracked an eye to see a person step inside, and my breath caught in my throat. They were tall, with a lean build that was apparent even under a soft, dark sweater and jeans. Their hair was a cascade of messy brown waves, and their face… it was the kind of face that belonged on a magazine cover. Strong jaw, a smattering of faint freckles across the nose, and eyes the color of warm whiskey that were currently wide with a mixture of shock and overwhelming relief.

They took a hesitant step forward, their gaze fixed on me. "Avery? Oh, thank god, you're awake."

The voice was low and resonant, a smooth baritone that vibrated with emotion. It was also completely unfamiliar. I stared, my heart starting to hammer against my ribs in a rhythm far faster than the steady beeping of the machine beside me.

"Who… who are you?" The words came out as a croak. My throat was sandpaper.

The person’s expression faltered, the relief draining away to be replaced by a deep, wrenching confusion that mirrored my own. They closed the distance to the bed in two long strides, stopping just short of the railing.

"What do you mean?" they asked, their voice softer now, laced with concern. "It's me. It's Riley."

The name echoed in the silent space between us, holding no meaning, sparking no recognition. It was just a sound. I searched their face, desperate for a flicker of familiarity, a ghost of a memory. There was nothing. This handsome, worried stranger was a complete blank.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, the panic clawing its way up my throat. "I don't… I don't know a Riley."

The hurt that flashed in their eyes was so raw, so potent, it felt like a physical blow. They reached out, their long fingers moving as if to brush a strand of hair from my forehead, but I flinched back before they could make contact, pressing myself against the pillows. Their hand froze in mid-air, then dropped to their side, clenched into a fist.

"Avery," they said, their voice strained, desperate. "I'm your partner. We live together. We… we love each other."

The words hung in the air, heavy and unbelievable. We love each other. It felt like a line from a movie, spoken by an actor to a character I didn't know. Before I could formulate a response, to deny it or simply scream, the door swung open again. A woman in a white coat, her salt-and-pepper hair pulled back in a severe bun, entered with a clipboard in hand. Her expression was professionally placid, but her eyes, sharp and intelligent, flickered between me and Riley, taking in the scene with a practiced glance.

"Avery. Good to see you're conscious," she said, her voice calm and even. She came to the side of the bed, ignoring Riley for the moment as she shone a small light into my eyes. "My name is Dr. Evans. Do you remember what happened?"

I shook my head, a small movement that sent a fresh spike of pain through my skull. "No. I… I don't remember anything. The last thing is my twenty-fifth birthday party."

Dr. Evans made a note on her chart. "And how old are you now, Avery?"

"Twenty-five," I said automatically, but even as the word left my lips, a cold dread washed over me. The face of the stranger, Riley, was not the face of someone who had just met me. There was a depth of history in their gaze, a painful familiarity that I couldn't access.

Dr. Evans gave a sympathetic sigh. She turned her attention to include Riley, who had remained silent and statue-still by the bed, their hands shoved deep into their pockets. "Avery, you were brought in two days ago after a severe fall. You sustained a significant concussion, a traumatic brain injury. We've been monitoring the swelling, and it's starting to go down, which is a good sign."

She paused, her gaze softening slightly as she looked at me. "The fall has resulted in what we call retrograde amnesia. It's not uncommon with this type of head trauma. Essentially, your brain, in an effort to protect itself, has blocked access to certain memories."

My mouth was dry. "What… what memories?"

"Based on our conversations with Riley," she gestured toward them, and my eyes darted to the stranger who was now staring at the floor, their jaw tight, "and the information we have, it appears the memory loss covers the last three years of your life."

Three years.

The number didn't compute. It was an impossible figure, a black hole that had just opened up and swallowed a huge portion of my existence. Twenty-five. That meant I was… twenty-eight. The person staring back at me from the faint reflection in the darkened monitor screen wasn't me. The face was thinner, the eyes shadowed with a weariness I didn't recognize. Three years of promotions, friendships, life changes… and a relationship with this person. All of it gone, erased as if it had never happened. The panic from before returned, a tidal wave this time, and I felt the air leave my lungs. The steady beeping of the heart monitor sped up, a frantic soundtrack to my internal collapse.

"Will I… will I get it back?" I asked, my voice a thin thread.

Dr. Evans’ expression was one of careful neutrality. "It's possible. Sometimes memories return gradually, in flashes. Sometimes they're triggered by familiar people, places, or sensations. And sometimes…" She left the alternative hanging in the sterile air, a grim, unspoken possibility. "The most important thing right now is to rest. Avoid stress. Allow your brain time to heal."

She gave Riley a pointed look. "We can discharge you into Riley's care this afternoon. They have all the instructions for your recovery."

The doctor offered a final, brief smile before turning and leaving the room, the click of the closing door sounding like a gunshot in the sudden silence. I was alone again with the stranger named Riley, who finally lifted their head. The whiskey-colored eyes were swimming with a pain so profound it made my own chest ache in a strange, hollow sympathy. They were a stranger, but their grief was undeniably real. And according to the doctor, they were the keeper of the three years I couldn't remember. They were my only link to a life I didn't know I had lived.

The car ride from the hospital was a study in taut silence. Riley drove a sleek, dark sedan that smelled of expensive leather and a faint, unidentifiable cologne that clung to the air like a ghost. I kept my gaze fixed on the window, watching the city blur past. The buildings were familiar in a generic sense, but the route we took was entirely new. We were heading downtown, toward the glittering steel-and-glass towers that stabbed at the sky, a part of the city I only associated with high-finance and inaccessible luxury.

Riley’s hands were steady on the steering wheel, knuckles white. They seemed to be concentrating fiercely on the road, but I could feel their occasional glances, feel the weight of their unspoken questions. The silence stretched between us, thick with everything I couldn't remember and everything they were too afraid to say. It was a relief when they finally pulled into the underground garage of a residential skyscraper that looked more like a corporate headquarters.

A uniformed doorman greeted us as we stepped into the lobby, a cavernous space of polished marble and abstract art. "Welcome back, Riley. And welcome home, Avery. We were so worried."

The man’s easy familiarity was a shock. I could only manage a tight, jerky nod before Riley was guiding me toward a bank of elevators, a light pressure from their hand on the small of my back that I immediately flinched away from. The touch, however brief, sent a jolt of alarm through me. Riley’s hand dropped instantly, and I saw their shoulders slump in the reflection of the mirrored elevator doors.

The ascent was dizzyingly fast and silent. My ears popped as we shot upward, the numbers climbing past thirty, forty, fifty. The penthouse. The word itself sounded foreign, absurd. When the doors slid open, they revealed not a hallway, but a single, heavy wooden door. Riley produced a key, the click of the lock echoing in the small space.

“Here we are,” they said, their voice soft, hesitant. “Home.”

The door swung inward, and my breath hitched. It wasn’t an apartment; it was a void. An entire wall was made of glass, revealing a staggering, panoramic view of the city skyline spread out below like a carpet of glittering jewels. The sun was beginning to set, painting the sky in fiery strokes of orange and purple. The space itself was vast, open-plan, with gleaming hardwood floors and minimalist furniture that looked like it belonged in a museum. A sprawling white sofa faced the window, a chrome-and-glass coffee table sat before it, and a stark, dramatic painting dominated the far wall.

It was breathtaking. And it was the most alienating place I had ever seen.

I stepped inside, my worn hospital-issue sneakers silent on the polished floor. I felt small and shabby, a stray animal that had wandered into a palace. There were no personal touches, no clutter, no life. Just clean lines, expensive objects, and that terrifying, beautiful view.

“You always said the view was the one thing that could calm you down after a rough day at the office,” Riley said from behind me. Their voice was gentle, an offering of a memory I couldn’t claim.

I turned to look at them, standing in the doorway of this stranger’s life. Their tall frame was silhouetted against the hallway light, their expression unreadable. Who was the person who lived here? Who was the Avery who felt at home amidst this cold, calculated perfection? She felt a million miles away from the confused, frightened person standing here now. This wasn’t a home; it was a stage. And I had no idea what my role was supposed to be.

“There’s a photo of us, from our trip to Italy, on the bookshelf over there,” Riley continued, gesturing toward a built-in unit. “I thought… maybe seeing it…”

But I couldn’t look. I couldn’t handle another piece of evidence of a life that felt like a fiction. The air was too thin up here. The silence was too loud. I felt a desperate, primal need for a space of my own, a door I could close, a lock I could turn. My gaze swept the vast room, searching for an escape, my heart pounding a frantic rhythm against my ribs. This beautiful cage was suffocating me.

My eyes darted around the room, skipping over the bookshelf Riley had indicated. I didn't want to see a smiling stranger with my face. I didn't want any more proof of a life that felt like a lie. My gaze landed on a hallway leading away from the main living area.

“Where… where is the bedroom?” I asked, my voice tight.

A flicker of something—hope, maybe?—crossed Riley’s face. “Down the hall. To the left.”

I walked toward it on unsteady legs, feeling their eyes on my back with every step. The hallway was lined with more art, abstract and unsettling. At the end was a large, dark wood door. It was slightly ajar, and through the gap, I could see the corner of an enormous bed, neatly made with a charcoal-grey duvet. A king-sized bed. A shared bed. The thought sent a fresh wave of nausea through me. Sleeping next to this person, this stranger… the intimacy of it was a violation. My body tensed, every muscle screaming in protest. I couldn't do it.

I stopped short, turning back to face Riley, who had followed me halfway down the hall. I crossed my arms over my chest, a feeble attempt to shield myself. “Is there another room? A guest room?”

The word hung in the air between us, sharp and cruel. The fragile hope in Riley’s eyes shattered, replaced by a deep, aching hurt that was so raw it was almost physical. Their shoulders sagged, and for a moment, they looked utterly defeated. The silence stretched, filled only by the low hum of the city far below.

“Yes,” Riley finally said, their voice raspy with emotion. They pointed to another door, closer to where we stood. “That one.”

I didn’t wait for them to lead the way. I pushed the door open myself and stepped inside. It was a smaller room, but still luxurious by any normal standard. A queen-sized bed with a simple white comforter, a small desk, and its own window with a less expansive but still impressive view. It was clean, impersonal, and most importantly, it was empty. It felt blessedly anonymous. It felt safe.

I turned back to Riley, who lingered in the doorway, their tall frame filling the space. They looked lost, their hands opening and closing at their sides as if they didn't know what to do with them. The pain in their whiskey-colored eyes was a direct accusation, a testament to the life I had just bulldozed. But the suspicion coiled in my gut was stronger than any sympathy. I didn't know this person. I didn't trust their grief, their kindness, or the opulent prison they called our home.

“I’ll sleep in here,” I said, the words coming out colder and harder than I intended. “For now. I… I need some space.”

Riley stared at me for a long moment, their expression a complicated mask of sorrow and resignation. I saw their throat work as they swallowed. I expected them to argue, to plead, to try and convince me with more stories I couldn't remember. Instead, they just gave a slow, deliberate nod.

“Okay, Avery,” they whispered, the name sounding like a prayer on their lips. “Whatever you need.”

Without another word, they pulled the door closed, leaving me in silence. The soft click of the latch was deafening. It was the sound of a line being drawn, a chasm opening right in the middle of this beautiful, terrifying apartment. I sank down onto the edge of the bed, the mattress firm beneath me. My whole body trembled with a mixture of relief and a profound, bone-deep loneliness. I was safe, for now, behind a closed door. But I was also completely and utterly alone, a stranger in a stranger’s home, with only the ghost of a life I didn't want for company.

The morning light was stark and unforgiving, slicing through the floor-to-ceiling windows and casting long shadows across the polished hardwood. I had barely slept, my mind a frantic buzz of white noise. When I finally emerged from the guest room, the silence of the apartment was heavy, broken only by the distant, muted roar of the city waking up fifty floors below.

Riley was standing by the enormous kitchen island, nursing a mug of coffee. They were already dressed in a crisp button-down shirt and tailored trousers, looking every bit the part of someone who belonged in this immaculate space. They looked up as I approached, their expression carefully neutral, but I could see the fatigue etched around their eyes.

“Good morning,” they said, their voice quiet. “There’s coffee, if you want some. Or tea. You… you used to switch between them.”

The uncertainty in their voice was a constant reminder of the chasm between us. I shook my head, my throat too tight to speak. “I’m not hungry.”

Riley nodded slowly, placing their mug down on the marble countertop. “Okay. I thought… if you’re up to it, I could show you around? Just the apartment. So you know where things are.”

It felt like a test. A performance I was being asked to participate in. But refusing felt childish, and a part of me—a small, desperate part—was morbidly curious. I gave a stiff nod.

The tour began in the cavernous living room. Riley’s movements were hesitant, their words chosen with painstaking care. They gestured toward the bookshelf that dominated one wall, a curated collection of art books and hardcovers. On the middle shelf, nestled between two marble bookends, was a silver frame.

“This is us in Tuscany,” Riley said softly. “It was for our second anniversary.”

I forced myself to step closer, to look at the photo. Two people stood on a sun-drenched hill, a sea of green vineyards rolling behind them. The person with my face was laughing, their head thrown back in genuine, uninhibited joy. Riley stood beside them, their arm wrapped securely around my waist, a look of pure adoration on their face. They looked happy. They looked disgustingly, deliriously in love. I stared at the smiling stranger who was supposed to be me, and felt nothing. Not a flicker of recognition. Not a whisper of emotion. Just a profound and chilling emptiness. It was like looking at a cleverly photoshopped image.

“You loved the wine,” Riley added, a faint, sad smile touching their lips. “Said you could happily die there.”

The comment landed with a thud in the sterile air. I turned away from the photo, my stomach churning. “What else?” My voice was clipped.

Riley’s smile faltered, but they pressed on, a tour guide in their own private museum of grief. They pointed out a lumpy, hand-thrown ceramic vase on a side table. “You made this. In that pottery class you took on a whim. You were so proud of it, even though you said it looked like a drunken gourd.”

I ran a hand over its rough, uneven surface. My hands had made this? It felt impossible. My fingers had no memory of the clay, no muscle memory of the wheel. It was just another object, another prop in this elaborate stage play of a life I couldn't recall.

We moved through the space, a slow, painful procession. The state-of-the-art kitchen with its gleaming appliances. The espresso machine Riley claimed I’d spent a month researching. The spice rack filled with exotic jars I couldn’t identify. Every detail, every anecdote, was meant to be a breadcrumb leading me back home, but each one only made me feel more lost. Each story highlighted the vast, empty space in my head where those memories were supposed to be.

The final stop was the master bedroom. Riley paused at the doorway, their hand hovering over the frame as if asking for permission. “This is… our room.”

I steeled myself and stepped inside. It was even larger than I’d glimpsed last night. The far wall was another sheet of glass, offering a view that felt like floating in the sky. A king-sized bed dominated the space, its charcoal duvet perfectly smooth. On the nightstand on the left side—my side, apparently—sat a small, leather-bound book and a pair of reading glasses. I didn’t know I needed glasses.

Riley gestured toward the walk-in closet. “Your things are in there. On the right.”

The thought of walking into a closet full of a stranger’s clothes, clothes I had supposedly picked out, was suffocating. This room, more than any other, felt like a violation. It smelled of Riley’s faint, clean cologne, but also a softer, floral scent I didn’t recognize. My perfume, probably. The air was thick with an intimacy I found repellent. This was the heart of the life I’d shared with them, and standing in it felt like trespassing on sacred ground. The dislocation was so complete, so absolute, that it bordered on vertigo. This wasn't my home. This was a lie, and I was an impostor trapped within it.

“I need to go to work,” I announced the next day, the statement sounding more like a desperate plea than a decision. If my home felt alien, perhaps my professional life, the place where I’d apparently spent most of my waking hours, would offer some flicker of familiarity. A muscle, a routine, anything.

Riley, who was meticulously arranging fruit in a bowl with the focus of a bomb disposal expert, paused. “Are you sure? The doctor said to take it easy.”

“I can’t just sit here staring at photos of a person I don’t know,” I snapped, the words sharper than I intended. “I need to do something. Something real.”

The hurt flashed in their eyes again, but they masked it quickly, replacing it with a practiced calm. “Okay. Of course. I’ll get the car.”

The drive into the city center was a silent, tense affair. Riley navigated the dense traffic with an easy confidence that I found irritating. I stared out the window at the canyons of glass and steel, feeling nothing. The building that housed my company, ‘Sterling-Vance Capital’, was an obscene monolith of dark glass that stabbed at the sky. It was designed to intimidate, and it succeeded.

Riley pulled into a private underground garage, stopping in a reserved spot marked with my name. My name. It felt like a cosmic joke.

“I can wait here,” Riley offered. “Or I can come up with you?”

“No,” I said, too quickly. The thought of them hovering over me, explaining my own life to my own colleagues, was mortifying. “I need to do this alone.”

They gave a tight nod, their hands gripping the steering wheel. “My number is in your phone. Call if you need anything. Anything at all.”

The elevator ride was a silent, stomach-lurching ascent. When the doors opened onto the 48th floor, I was met with a vista of polished concrete floors, brushed metal, and glass walls. The air was cool and smelled faintly of expensive air freshener and ambition. It was an open-plan space, but hushed, the only sounds the soft clatter of keyboards and the low murmur of phone calls. Dozens of people in sharp suits and designer dresses moved with quiet purpose, their faces focused and intense.

My appearance caused a ripple. Heads lifted from screens. Conversations paused. A few people offered tight, professional smiles and murmured greetings. “Avery. Good to see you back.” “Hope you’re feeling better.”

I nodded, my own smile feeling like a cheap mask stretched too tight across my face. I didn’t know a single one of them. Each polite inquiry felt like an interrogation, each concerned look a judgment. I was an actor who’d forgotten all their lines, pushed onto a stage in the middle of a play.

My office was in the corner, a glass box with a view that could make gods feel insecure. My name was on a sleek silver plaque by the door: AVERY REID, SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT. The title meant nothing to me. Inside, a vast mahogany desk faced the city, clean and brutally organized. Two monitors sat side-by-side next to a laptop, all dark. A single stack of files was aligned perfectly with the edge of the desk.

I sank into the high-backed leather chair. It was comfortable, but it didn’t feel like mine. I ran my hand over the cool surface of the desk, tracing the grain of the wood. Who was this person? This Avery Reid, Senior Vice President? They were organized, powerful, important. They commanded this space, this view. They were nothing like the terrified, confused person sitting here now.

I turned on the computer. The screen lit up, demanding a password. I stared at it blankly. Panic, cold and sharp, pricked at the base of my skull. Of course. A password. Another key to a life I couldn't unlock. I tried my birthday. Access denied. I tried Riley’s name. Access denied.

The feeling of being an impostor was overwhelming, a physical weight pressing down on my chest. This wasn’t just a feeling of dislocation; it was a profound and terrifying fraudulence. I was sitting in a powerful person’s chair, in their office, pretending to be them. Any minute now, someone would walk in and expose me, call security, and have me thrown out. I was a ghost haunting a life that was still running without me, and I was utterly, completely locked out. I stared at the blank login screen, the cursor blinking, mocking me, when a shadow fell across the desk from the open doorway.

“Avery,” a smooth voice said, dripping with a carefully measured blend of surprise and concern. “I almost didn’t believe it when I heard you were coming in. You look… well, you look like you’ve been through hell.”

I looked up from the mocking, blinking cursor. Leaning against the doorframe was a person who radiated an almost predatory sleekness. They were tall and impeccably dressed in a tailored suit that probably cost more than my first car—assuming I’d had a car. Their dark hair was styled with precision, and their smile was sharp, a flash of white that didn’t quite reach their cool, assessing eyes.

“Jordan,” I said, the name coming from nowhere, a ghost on my tongue. I had no idea who they were, but the name felt correct.

Their smile widened slightly. “So some things are still in there. Good. For a minute, we all thought you’d come back speaking fluent German or something.” They pushed off the doorframe and glided into the office, their expensive shoes making no sound on the plush carpet. They perched on the edge of my desk, crossing one long leg over the other, an effortless display of ownership. “Password trouble?”

I nodded, feeling my cheeks flush with shame. It was such a basic, humiliating failure.

Jordan chuckled, a low, conspiratorial sound. “Let me guess. You tried your birthday. Riley’s birthday. The anniversary of the day you met Riley?” They waved a dismissive hand. “Too obvious. You were always more paranoid than that.” They leaned in closer, their cologne a subtle, expensive scent of sandalwood and something sharper, like gin. “You once told me your password philosophy. Something about keeping work and private life completely firewalled. You said you’d never use anything personal here. Try ‘ApexPredator48’. The ‘48’ is for this floor. It was your little joke.”

My fingers trembled as I typed it in. A-p-e-x-P-r-e-d-a-t-o-r-4-8. Access granted. The desktop bloomed to life, a dizzying array of icons and folders. A wave of vertigo washed over me. This person, this stranger, knew the key to my professional life, while Riley, the person I supposedly shared a home and a bed with, did not.

“See?” Jordan said, their voice a low murmur. “We were always on the same wavelength here.” They gestured vaguely toward the window. “It must be so… disorienting. Waking up in a life that feels like someone else’s. Especially with Riley right there.”

I looked at them, my guard instinctively rising. “What do you mean?”

Jordan gave a delicate shrug, the picture of nonchalance. “Oh, nothing. Just… Riley’s always been very… protective. Intensely so. I just hope they’re giving you the space you need to figure things out for yourself. It would be easy for someone to take advantage of a situation like this, you know? To shape the narrative. To tell you who you were, instead of letting you rediscover it.”

The words landed like carefully placed drops of acid, sizzling through my confusion and anxiety. Shape the narrative. That’s exactly what it felt like. Riley’s tour, the photos, the stories—it was all a curated exhibition of a life, with them as the sole curator. Jordan’s feigned concern was a perfect mirror for the ugly suspicions I’d been trying to suppress. The idea that Riley wasn’t a patient partner but a subtle jailer.

“You have to be careful, Avery,” Jordan continued, their voice dropping to an intimate whisper. They stood up, smoothing a non-existent crease in their trousers. “This is your life. Your comeback. Don’t let anyone else write the script.” They gave my shoulder a light, proprietary squeeze. “I’m glad you’re back. The place hasn’t been the same without its apex predator.”

With a final, knowing look, Jordan turned and walked out, leaving a trail of expensive cologne and poisonous doubt in their wake. I stared at the computer screen, at the emails and spreadsheets that represented a massive part of my identity, and I felt more alienated than ever. Jordan’s words echoed in the silent, glass-walled office. Protective. Shape the narrative. Take advantage. The distrust I felt toward Riley was no longer just a vague, instinctual fear. It now had a name. It had a voice. And it sounded disturbingly like the truth.

I left the office in a daze, Jordan’s words slithering around my thoughts like smoke. I didn’t call Riley. I took the elevator down to the garage and found them leaning against the car, scrolling through their phone, the picture of patient devotion. A devotion that now felt cloying, possessive. They looked up when they saw me, a hopeful smile lighting up their face, and I felt a knot of resentment tighten in my gut.

The drive back to the penthouse was thick with a new kind of silence. Before, it had been awkward and uncertain. Now, it was accusatory. I stared out the window, replaying Jordan’s warning. Shape the narrative. Take advantage. Every glance Riley sent my way felt like an assessment, every gentle question a probe. I gave one-word answers, my body angled toward the door, a coiled spring of distrust.

When we stepped back into the apartment, a rich, savory aroma met us at the door. Onions and garlic sizzling in butter, the bright scent of lemon, the clean fragrance of fresh herbs. My stomach rumbled in betrayal. Riley was in the kitchen, a navy blue apron tied around their waist, moving with an easy, practiced grace. They were searing salmon in a hot pan, the skin crisping to a perfect golden brown.

“I thought… I thought I’d make your favorite,” Riley said, their voice soft, tentative. They gestured with the spatula towards the pan. “Pan-seared salmon with a lemon-dill sauce. And roasted asparagus. You always said it was the one meal that could make a bad day better.”

The words were meant to be kind, a bridge across the chasm of my missing memories. But all I could hear was Jordan’s voice. To tell you who you were, instead of letting you rediscover it. This wasn’t a meal; it was a manipulation. A carefully chosen flavor profile designed to coax a version of me that I didn’t know, and couldn’t trust, to the surface. It was a sensory trap, and I felt my walls shoot up, higher and thicker than before.

“I’m not hungry,” I said, my voice flat.

The sizzle of the fish seemed to grow louder in the ensuing silence. Hurt flickered in Riley’s eyes, so raw and open it was almost obscene. “Oh. Okay. Well… maybe you’ll be hungry later. I’ll save you a plate.”

They turned back to the stove, their shoulders slumping just slightly. I watched them, my gaze clinical and detached. I noted the strong line of their back, the way their muscles shifted under their shirt as they plated the food with meticulous care. They were attractive, I could admit that on a purely objective level. But the thought of their hands on me, of the intimacy everyone claimed we’d shared, felt like a violation. This person was a stranger, a stranger who was trying to domesticate me with my own supposed favorite foods, in a home that felt like a gilded cage.

I retreated to the living area, sinking into the corner of the enormous white sofa, and pretended to be absorbed in the cityscape outside the window. Riley ate alone at the vast dining table, the clink of their fork against the ceramic plate echoing in the cavernous space. The gesture was meant to give me space, I knew, but it felt like a performance of magnanimity. See how patient I am? See how understanding?

The kindness was suffocating. It was a weighted blanket I hadn’t asked for, pressing down on me, demanding a gratitude I couldn’t fake. I felt cornered, my anxiety coiling into a cold, hard knot of anger in my stomach. Jordan was right. This was a battle for my own identity, and Riley was a gentle, smiling adversary.

Without another word, I stood up and walked past the dining table, ignoring the way Riley’s head lifted, their expression full of a question I had no intention of answering. I went straight to the guest room and closed the door, the soft click of the latch sounding as final as a prison gate slamming shut. I leaned my back against the cool wood, the lingering scent of salmon and lemon a ghostly reminder of the evening’s failed seduction. The distrust was no longer a whisper. It was a roar.