My Rival Baker Challenged Me To A Croissant War, But Now We're Sharing A Bed
My biggest rival is the grumpy, traditional baker across the street, and our feud over who makes the best croissant has become a local spectacle. But when a power outage forces us to cooperate, our angry DMs turn into flirtatious late-night texts, and suddenly our croissant war is turning into a secret, passionate affair.
The Croissant War
[Screenshot of an Instagram Post]
@sugarandchaos
[Image: A professionally shot, close-up photo of a croissant. The pastry is perfectly flaky, but its surface is a mesmerizing swirl of deep purples, blues, and blacks, dusted with edible silver glitter that mimics a starry night sky. It sits on a simple, slate grey plate, a single sprig of lavender placed beside it.]
sugarandchaos Why be boring? Start your morning with a little magic. ✨ Our new Lavender Galaxy Croissant is here to blast your taste buds into another dimension. Available starting today. 💜 #croissant #galaxy #baking #pastry #new #foodie #chestnutstreet #sugarandchaos
View all 87 comments
foodiegalore OMG I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE. 🔥
sweethtoothsarah This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Can’t wait to try it! 😍
therollingpinbakery A classic butter croissant doesn’t need glitter to be magical. Some things are perfect just the way they are.
citybites_official @therollingpinbakery Shots fired! 👀
sugarandchaos @therollingpinbakery Some of us like to evolve. 😉 But we have classic butter too, for the traditionalists!
laurajane88 I’m with @therollingpinbakery. Give me a real croissant any day, not a science experiment.
glitterbomb22 @laurajane88 Don’t knock it til you try it! This looks incredible @sugarandchaos! Haters gonna hate.
therollingpinbakery @sugarandchaos Baking is a craft built on generations of technique, not a fleeting trend. A croissant's magic is in the lamination, the quality of the butter, the texture—not food coloring.
markp_92 He’s not wrong. The Rolling Pin has been the best on this street for 50 years for a reason.
sugarandchaos @therollingpinbakery And our lamination is perfect, thanks for your concern. We use European-style butter with 84% butterfat, and every batch has 27 layers. You should come try one before you judge. We’re just two doors down. 😉
[Screenshot of an Instagram Direct Message]
therollingpinbakery
1.2k followers
Today 9:15 AM
therollingpinbakery
Miss… Chaos. I believe that’s the name on your sign.
therollingpinbakery
We need to talk.
sugarandchaos
It’s Sophie. And my bakery’s name is Sugar & Chaos. Though I appreciate the nickname.
sugarandchaos
What can I do for you, Mr. Rolling Pin? If this is another lecture on the sanctity of butter, I’m a little busy right now. I have actual customers.
therollingpinbakery
That’s precisely the issue. My customers. Mrs. Gable just came in for her usual morning bun, holding one of your purple… things. She’s been a customer here for thirty years. Thirty. She said her granddaughter insisted.
sugarandchaos
So you’re upset that a new generation has different tastes? I’m not sure what you want me to do about that. Ban grandmothers from my shop?
therollingpinbakery
I want you to have some professional courtesy. There are unwritten rules on this block. We’re a community of small businesses, not sharks circling each other. You don’t just waltz in and aggressively target your neighbor’s established clientele.
sugarandchaos
I didn’t “target” anyone. I baked something delicious, I took a nice picture of it, and I opened my doors. It’s called capitalism. Maybe you’ve heard of it?
sugarandchaos
And for the record, your “unwritten rules” sound a lot like “don’t provide any competition for the old guard.”
therollingpinbakery
It’s called tradition. It’s called respecting the craft. My family has been serving this neighborhood since before your parents were born. We built our reputation on quality and consistency, not on Instagram fads.
sugarandchaos
And my quality is impeccable. I could bake circles around you, tradition or not. The only difference is I’m not afraid to try something new. Maybe if you spent less time policing my DMs and more time experimenting past the 1950s, Mrs. Gable wouldn’t have strayed.
therollingpinbakery
This isn’t over.
sugarandchaos
I’m counting on it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a line out the door.
Seen 9:28 AM
[Screenshot of an Instagram Story]
chestnuthill_bites 2h
[Image: A side-by-side photo collage. On the left is The Rolling Pin’s classic, golden-brown butter croissant. On the right is Sugar & Chaos’s vibrant Lavender Galaxy Croissant. A bold, white “VS.” is placed in the center.]
Text overlay: The battle for Chestnut Street is ON! We’ve seen the comments, we’ve felt the tension. Now it’s time to decide. Who makes the best croissant? The time-honored classic or the innovative newcomer?
@therollingpinbakery
@sugarandchaos
[Instagram Poll Sticker]
BEST CROISSANT ON CHESTNUT?
THE ROLLING PIN
SUGAR & CHAOS
[Screenshot of a Text Message Conversation]
Chloe 👯♀️
Today 11:46 AM
Me
[Image Attached: Screenshot of chestnuthill_bites’s Instagram Story]
Are you seeing this?!
Chloe 👯♀️
OMG. SOPHIE. THIS IS AMAZING.
Chloe 👯♀️
The Croissant War of 2023! I’m so here for it.
Me
It’s not amazing, it’s a nightmare. This is HIS fault. Mr. Tradition and his sanctimonious comments on my post. He started this whole public feud and now it’s a spectator sport.
Chloe 👯♀️
Babe, it’s free publicity. And you’re obviously going to win. Who wants a boring brown pastry when they can have a GALAXY one?
Me
You’d be surprised. His followers are… loyal. And loud. He’s probably sitting in his rustic little shop right now, polishing his great-grandfather’s rolling pin and feeling smug.
Chloe 👯♀️
Let him. You’ve got this in the bag. Your croissants are flakey perfection.
Me
Ugh I know but it’s still so annoying. I have to win. And I hate to admit this so if you ever repeat it I’ll deny it… but his plain ones do look kind of perfect. Like, textbook lamination. Annoyingly perfect.
Chloe 👯♀️
Ooooh, someone has a little crush on Mr. Rolling Pin’s lamination technique 😉
Me
Shut up. I’m going to go stress-bake.
[Screenshot of a Text Message Conversation]
Mark
Today 11:52 AM
Me
[Image Attached: Screenshot of chestnuthill_bites’s Instagram Story]
Great. Just what I needed today.
Mark
Whoa. It’s official.
Mark
Dude, you’ll smoke her. Your family’s croissants are legendary. People write poems about them.
Me
I know. But look at the poll results so far. It’s almost 50/50. This is all because of that new place. The one with the glitter pastries. She shows up two months ago and suddenly fifty years of history means nothing.
Mark
It’s a fad, man. People will try the sparkly thing once and then come back for the real deal. You just have to ride it out.
Me
I don’t know. My dad already called me this morning to ask why Mrs. Gable was carrying a “purple pastry.” The pressure is insane. I can’t be the one who lets the reputation slip.
Mark
You won’t be.
Me
I shouldn’t. But honestly… look at the picture. Take away all the stupid purple dust and the food coloring, and the structure is actually… really good. The layers are clean. You can see the honeycomb from here. She’s not a hack. Which makes this whole thing even more infuriating.
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